Thursday, June 24, 2010
Wooh sah! I'm good...no more ranting my love, just needed to tell you how I feel. It doesn't mean that 한국의 name plate necklace that said " 티파니" isn't as special. We just have some things we need to work on if you want this relationship to work.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
"God, I'm so hungry I could eat the ass end of a cow?"
"Wanna go for Samgyupsal?"
" I'm sooo broke, I dont get paid til next week!"
"No money... no problem"
" Let's go sample stalking at E-Mart"
Peruse the market section of E-mart. You have you choice of various baked goods, kimchi, sauteed meats, fruit drinks and mandoo. Don't be shy about taking 3 or 4 helpings. Get in there with your toothpics and mini cups and have at it! You'll be stuffing your face with little adjummas and children alike.
Koreans will tell you" 먹 어"! "Nom, nom, nom" and the smacking symphony will commence!
I wish they would make E-Mart commercials featuring foreingners because I would be all about that. I would wear a shirt that said Snack Attack in Korean and perhaps even do a dance! You know Koreans are all about the ridiculous commercials complete with signature dance moves. Asaaaaa!
Confucius say: When funds are low and stomach starts to growl, head to E-Mart and start a sample prowl
Sunday, June 13, 2010
This morning on my way to work as I was leaving my apartment. I smelled something FOUL. Now I know Korea has it's own Eau du Funk if you will, but this was something different. Upon further inspection of the hallway I noticed huge piles of dog poop on the landing and consequetly tracked down 2 flights of stairs. I know a lot of things are lax in Korea, but dog shit in PILES in the HALLWAY C'mon! And these were not little doggie treasures. These were Great Dane after a 6 course meal poop piles. Irritated and running late,I made my way down stairs carefully as not to step in the doggie surprises 1 through 20 in my barely there sandals. I was not impressed.
Now it's time for google translator and writing passive aggressive notes in Korean to my upstairs neighbors.
Until next time...
Confucius say: When there is poop on your stoop indeed you must take a stand, before the poop bandit gets out of hand!
As my uncle says: Put a wrap on the crap. Good luck and step carefully! ( haha I love it)
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Now you know I love you dearly but there is something I have to get off my chest. Just because you lure me in with your foreign wiles, waving ridiculous accessories and "strangee" cultral customs in my face doesn't mean you can treat me any old kind of way. I'd like to take a moment and dicuss the 13 reasons you feel that I, the wagukenim, and my fellow expats are not considered the real people:
1.Why are we bound by contract unable to change jobs if treated badly without being banned from Korea? ( not speaking from personal experience)
2. Why are we unable to get certain free cell phones ( Me: " Why do I have to pay 250,000 won for a phone my students get for FREE?" SHOW: " You have no choice! you are the foreigner!" Thanks real nice...no need to sugar coat it for me)
3. Why are we second guessed when our solutions are the most logical? ( This applies to most situations)
4. Why do you think it is ok to " WHOA" and giggle as walk by then stare without blinking for minutes on end? (Is it funny that we exist? Didn't your mom ever tell you it was rude to stare? Wait it's Korea.... NOPE)
5. Why are all of our medical bills not covered under out insurance ( Doctor: Oh you are sick okay... maybe your insurance doesnt cover... Me: why? Doctor: Oh maybe because you are the foreigner Me: Hmmm...FML)
6. Why do adjumma think it's appropriate to touch our food or person at any given time to "help us" or "show us the correct way to do something" ( I know you think we are accelrated 5 yr olds but we grown people, so stop it)
7.Why is it every time we attempt to eat spicy food " Whoa...do you know this food? It is very spicy... Are you sure you can eat?" ( I'm pretty sure Korean food isn't what we'd call super spicy. Ps. We have more peppers in North America)
8. Why is it that Koreans think we came here to teach because we were unemployable in our native countries ( All of us have degrees, and some multiple ones with teaching experience.Just a thought why would you hire someone who wasn't employable anyway? C'mon let's think about it)
9. Why is it that we are put in sub-par apartments and expected to tough it for a yr or more ( once again I'm no speaking from personal experience, but I've heard some horror stories)
10. Why do you think it is acceptable to make our business YOUR business? I'm pretty sure it's none of youe business where we go after work, if we have the Korean boyfriends/girlfriends or if we sleep in til 2 on Sundays)
11. Why is that basic services are inaccessible due to us being foreigners? (websites, phone registration, etc.) I'm sure most of us managed our lives before we came to Korea we dont need a korean to hold our hands every step of the way.( You would think it would be important for our bank/credit card statements to be in English , and thats just the tip of the iceberg)
12 Why are you AMAZED and ASTOUNDED when we can understand the slightist bit of Korean. Especially when we have lived here fo half a year or more? ( It's not like we have a choice in such a homogenous country )
13. Lastly, why do you think it is appropriate to comment on our appearance. Anything from clothing to hair to weight?( Once again didnt your mom ever tell you " If you dont have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all?" Of course not it's Korea)
According to Kate, Korea is the place that you can do all the inappropriate things your mother told you NOT to do when you were 5...but we're not the real people? Hmmm?
The answer to all of these questions is simple... " silly wagukenim you are not the real person"
Now, now Korea, don't get you hanbok in a twist I just wanted to tell you how I feel. Doesn't mean I love you less. I love you for you who are , the good, the bad and the ugly.
Until next time...
티 파 니