Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Dear John Letter

My dearest Korea,
Its been a while since we last spoke. I'm sure you've noticed my distant almost absentee behavior. I know you're not the brightest crayon in the box so let me spell it out for you. Let me say this in the nicest way possible since you have ALWAYS shown me the utmost love and compassion. Yaaaa ...We' re done! With only 30 days left. I feel it's only right to let you know that I'm leaving you for my old girlfriend America. She's cleaner, more polite, a great deal smarter and she even speaks English. I know we tried to work out our differences.
* shhh don't cry...munch on these prawn flavored snacks. *
 It's going to be ok! You're going to meet some new unsuspecting waygook that you can charm with your wiles until they start to dislike you too.
It's just you and I both know this hasn't been working for some time now.
It's better to part ways now than wait. We both knew this wasn't for the long term. America and I had our problems but she's ALWAYS going to be my #1.
*No I don't have anymore snacks!!! *
Korea, you've given me so much and I will always love you for that. You encouraged me to learn Korean, my chopstick game is sick! I now love eating a random mish mash of foods out of big family style plates,I'm more open to try strange new and interesting things, and I have no regard for matching.
You've changed my life in so many ways, but in turn made me miss and appreciate my lovely America sthat much more. If ever I see someone not wash their hands, am pushed by a small Asian woman, or get a faint whiff of kimchi I'll think of you.